Legend has it that the Pilgrims placed 5 kernels of corn on their plates to remember their times of trial. It reminded them of the time when they were starving and each person was rationed a mere 5 kernels of corn. It was there to remind them of their struggles and how blessed they truly were. We talked about this yesterday in Relief Society and were asked to think of what our 5 kernels of corn represent.
As some of you know, I really struggle with being a homemaker. I often consider this struggle my great trial in life. I know it sounds ridiculous when you think about all of the real trials in life ~ ~ illness, poverty, death, lack of faith ~ ~ but this is where I struggle. This is where I feel most inadequate and most discouraged. I think I could handle it better if it were simply that I suck at cooking and keeping a clean house, but I also often feel like I am kind of a rotten mom. I yell at my kids way too much. They fight and disobey or ignore me and I flip my lid. I generally don't spank much, but I do yell a lot. I feel like if I don't yell at them they would never listen to me. It is discouraging and makes me feel bad.
So, as I was thinking of what my 5 kernels of corn represent, I thought of my 5 kids. I thought of how deeply I love them and how blessed I am to have the most fantastic babies in the world. Again, I thought of how I need to be so much better with them. I need to show them greater love, have more patience, speak kinder, and have more positive interactions. I know that I have been blessed and I need to enjoy those blessings more. I think that without gratitude, it is almost impossible to enjoy what you have.
I also have to add a sixth kernel here too. I love my sweet husband and am so grateful to get to call him mine. He drives me nuts often but he really is good to me and takes such good care of me. I am thankful for the marriage we have and the beautiful family we have created. I always tell the kids that Heavenly Father only sends the best babies to our family. I say it jokingly but it is true. I am blessed far more than I could ever have hoped for. I find myself indebted to my Father in Heaven and whenever I try to repay that debt, I end up more indebted. I am blessed.
4 comments:
Dani, I have always thought of you as such a wonderful wife and mother, and I have always looked up to you because of it. I am so glad to hear that even my role model feels the way I do :). Being a mother is so difficult for me. Who knew that such little people could make me so upset, angry and crabby? It is by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but also the most wonderful. The good times do out number the bad. Thanks for reminding me of what a great blessing it is to have a family!
What a great post! Sometimes I feel like I should just go back to work, but then I would miss out on so much. As I sit here looking at all that laundry I have to put away, I think I'll have a nap :)
Oh Dani, you make me smile and laugh and get teary eyed, all at the same time. Clean houses are highly over rated. It's easier when there are less people to pick up after. And sometimes it is very lonely. There is still a comfortable layer of dust on all the furniture, and grime on all my windows. And don't ever open a cupboard, drawer, or closet in a hurry around here. And Jim and I are stackers...piles and boxes of important things we may need someday. But then if we do need it, we can't find it, so we go buy another one! Well, okay, we're hoarders...I admit it.
Anyway, the days of a clean house will come. In the meantime, you are raising righteous children, who know and love the gospel, and who know they are loved. That makes me so thankful for you. Thanks for loving my son and grandchildren so very well, and keep up the good work!
What an awesome post! Thanks for bringing blessings to the attention of others, like me. I struggle with being a homemaker too. I think everybody feels inadequate and taken for granted- it's part of the job description!
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